There's always this thing I never understood about New Hampshire. The fact that their state symbol is/was a pile of cleverly arranged rocks that don't even exist in said arrangement, for one. There's also the lack of sales tax, but the abundance of state-owned liquor stores, and how everybody flocks there the week before Fourth of July to stock up on fireworks, which is probably attributed to jealousy. But the thing I really don't understand is why their state slogan is "Live Free or Die". Isn't that a bit harsh, for the people who enjoy totalitarian goverments? Yes, there probably are a few people out there that, say, enjoy China's oppressive Communist government. (Trust me, I might know something about that.) I hope to never meet them. What's the suicide rate there, anyway?

I thought rednecks were only from the South. We got directions (my dad still has to ask for directions. For shame!) from some couple that was so stereotypically redneck, all they needed was a Confederate flag on the back of their big honkin' Ford truck. They made fun of us. Not really, no. At least they were nice enough to lead us to Blueberry Shores Campground, situated on beautiful Newfound Lake, $35 a night, cash only. Ah, the commercialization of nature...

The second my dad and I walk into the office, an old lady turns around instantly, before we could say anything, and asks, "Did you bring the fried rice?" Because, as we all know, all Asians eat only their own ethnic cuisine, which is completely made up of rice that has been fried and seasoned, and we eat it enough that we carry it around us and occasionally share it with strangers. That kinda pissed me off more than my dad, who didn't get the joke. Why would you make a blatant racial slur that's not even funny at complete strangers who are about to throw money at you so they can sleep on your property? "Hey, you're black. Did you bring any fried chicken? Wanna play basketball?!" :\
But enough of that.

For the amazingly low price of

$45!


you too can enjoy the great outdoors! You get:

1. A field
2. A fire pit
3. A PARK BENCH!!! omfg!!!111

Bathrooms conveniently located a few feet away! No more digging catholes like actual hardcore outdoorsmen! You can even get electricity and sewage for a few dollars more! So you can hook up your Dell Inspiron XPS Gaming Laptop ($1900, Circuit City, Best Buy) and frag annoying little aliens in Halo while taking a crap in privacy and style in case you're too lazy to make the arduous trek to the lavatories, even if you're in the middle of nowhere! Of course, you can rest assured that you're NOT in the middle of nowhere, because there's always at least 1500 other families within the same 200x200 ft property to keep you company! Converse with total strangers from Vermont or Connecticut about politics or soccer balls while asking to borrow a flashlight! (Streetlight installation begins next year.)

Blueberry Shores Campground:
"Insert cheezy slogan here!"

The rest of the trip isn't worth talking about. But I sure can get used to sleeping in the Xterra. It's like I'm on a roadtrip!

Dude, Where's My Country: The liberals are here! Run, conservatives, run! Run for your lives! Michael Moore is back, and he's HUNGRY!!!

Just kidding. If I wanted to hear people making fun of Moore's girth, I'd turn on talk radio. Or watch the news.